Valletta and Mellieha in one place: how the whole country fits into a bus network, when the Blue Lagoon is worth the boat, and the dress rule that stops people at a cathedral door.
The things that change a decision — not a retelling of the guidebook.
The island is fifteen miles long and the bus network is a hub and spoke with the capital at the centre — which means a cross-island trip often means changing in Valletta. It is cheap and it works; it is just slower than the distance implies.
Flat shoes are required to protect the marble tomb floor, and shoulders and knees have to be covered. People are turned away daily. Inside are two Caravaggios, including the largest canvas he ever painted, which is worth changing your shoes for.
It is a small bay on an almost uninhabited island, and in July and August it takes thousands of people a day. The first boats out of Cirkewwa or Mellieha get an hour of it nearly empty; by midday the water is beautiful and the shore is not.
Malta is stone, sea and sun, with almost no trees and effectively no rain from May to September. Forty-degree days happen. Plan the outdoor sightseeing for the morning and treat the middle of the day as indoor time.
Alongside Maltese, and it is used in shops, signage and government. Driving is on the left. For an English-speaking visitor this is one of the most frictionless countries in the Mediterranean.
From June to September, a different village celebrates its patron saint almost every weekend, with band marches and serious firework displays. They are free, local and unannounced to visitors — ask at your hotel which one is on.
What is open, how busy it gets, and when to book ahead.